As I got off the bus last night, a random hobo was drifting around shouting "Go to school! Don't be nobody's footstool!" I wonder if he knows the evangelist who hangs around Oxford Circus with his cries of "Do you want to be a sinner, or do you want to be a winner?" (and the less catchy "You can shop till you drop, but when you drop you're going straight to hell") Together they could create some real literary magic. The world needs their poetry.

Let's get the techy links out of the way – Jenny only clicks on, like, 40% of the links I post anyway, kinda on principle. This one-handed keyboard looks utterly insane; I find it very hard to believe that any amount of experience or dogged determination would render it usable.

There's a story on TheFeature about a club in Barcelona offering to implant RFID tags in its VIP clients. These tags allow these club bunnies easy entrance into VIP areas of the club, but more interestingly can also act as credit cards which can be debited by the barmen. Is chip and pin now looking a little dated to anyone else?

Just in case this meticulously-documented story of a man's experience with penis enlargement pills doesn't excite you, perhaps you should think of moving to Denmark, where LL Media in Nordjylland has provided free porn for its emplyees.

This is a rather amusing story; the cleaning instructions for Tom Bihn bags have their text in both English and French. Both are identical, save for the last lines of the French, which reads "We are sorry that our President is an idiot. We didn't vote for him." According to Tom Bihn themselves, the line is intended to poke fun at the founder and president of the American company, Tom Bihn, but I prefer to believe it's a dig at Dubya.

Those of a delicate position should avoid Mr Tourette, while anyone who doesn't consider themselves a geek or design junky should also avoid this stunning Halflife 2 casemod.

Let's end this little bundle of joy with The Infinite Cat Project. Thank you and goodnight.