In my current embarrassed financial condition, I'm on a diet of noodles and treats scrounged from the ever-replenished stocks of junk over on the art and production desk. To add insult to injury, I keep seeing fun things I'd like to buy.

Top of the list are these rather lovely, if a little overtly whimsical, shadow oil lamps called Lumen. Very pretty. Then there's the invisible bookshelves which just look super groovy. I don't actually want one of the new three-wheeled Piaggio scooters, but they look interesting. Me, I'd have one of the proper retro ones.

But if you're in the mood for gift-giving, please don't trouble me with these mere bagatelles. I want a yacht. But not any yacht. I want one that looks like any other yacht, but which is actually a submarine. Luckily, such things do exist. Scrap all my ambitions hitherto; from now on, I dedicate my life to captaining one of these little beauties. (Have a look at the PDF; you can buy one too and we'll, like, race along the mid-Atlantic trench, OK?)