“I appear to have run out of gear”*

I took a call from a reader the other day who had the most glorious accent. I can describe it perfectly when I say that it was a flawless mix of Bill Paterson and Brian Sewell. Utter, utter genius of an accent; I may try to cultivate it as a party trick.

Couple of things before I go: I know 'humour' and 'IT' are rarely happy bedfellows, but a few gags in this list managed to raise a smile. Also, doing these Polaroid transfers looks like a bundle of fun. I want the time to do this kind of stuff, dammit.

Also, isn't this a pretty picture? Taken with my beloved cameraphone, and totally un-retouched, it's my good lady holding a glass of mint tea.

Mint tea

* Wanky post title, only to be understood by colleagues of a certain vintage – perhaps the originator of the story would like to tell it chez lui?