Regular readers may remember my wife's adorable habit of semi-waking in the wee small hours and uttering apparent nonsense. The other night, she snuffled herself awake, and calmly asked me 'Remember when you kept pretending to be the smallest man in Australia all the time?'

I was, understandably, hooked; it wasn't that I was the smallest man in Australia, I was only pretending to that exalted title. And doing it all the time, to boot. Surely the story could only get more interesting?

Thankfully, as she turned over, plumped her pillow, and prepared to return to full-on unconsciousness, she filled out the narrative: 'I was big,' she said – all without opening her eyes, but with a faint smile playing across her lips – 'I just kept saying "smaller and smaller".'

Despite not getting closure on this particular incident, I hope she never breaks this habit.